Five lessons I've learned from the ingratitude of others.


Giving to others.

What does it feel like to do things for ungrateful people? The act of ingratitude isn't anything new. All of us can relate to this in one way or the other. Maybe it's a spouse who doesn't appreciate anything that you do for them. Maybe it's a boss who never gives you credit for your hard work. Maybe it's a friend who walked out on you because you weren't available this time around, etc.  

How do you deal with those who have expressed their ingratitude towards you? How do you handle the ingratitude of those whom you have done everything for? I can't say that this is an easy feat, but I will encourage you to keep these things in mind. 

Always give without expecting anything in return; not everyone will appreciate the value of your sacrifices. It doesn't matter if you've placed yourself last so that their life can be better. It's just the way it is. Everyone doesn't have the same heart as you. It has taken me some time to accept the ingratitude of other people including family members. Below I'll share five lessons that I've learned.

1. Don't allow the ingratitude of others to change the person you are.

Always be a cheerful giver. Whatever you do for others, do it with love. Do it willingly, not with a hidden motive. Give without holding a grudge. Never allow the ingratitude of others to break your spirit of giving. Don't ever wish that you could undo the great deeds that you've done for someone because of their ingratitude, and don't deter giving to others because of one person's ingratitude.

2. Some people will disregard everything else you've done for them. The moment you're not able to help them.

 There's this popular phrase, some people will forget the other ninety-nine things that you have done for them. The very moment you can't give them one hundred. Many of us can relate to this. Some people are just inconsiderate. It's always about them and their needs.  You can't always be available for everyone all the time. It's just not possible! 

Let people know your limit. While it's good to give freely and abundantly. You must never impede another person's ability to fend for themselves. Be kind, but don't encourage laziness. If you provide people with everything they need; they won't see a need to do anything to help themselves. They'll always come to you! Strike the right balance. Help people to help themselves.

3. Don't expect to get anything back.

Whatever you give to others don't expect anything from them in return. Don't expect that others will return the favors that you've granted unto them. You're only setting yourself up for disappointment. The reality of life is that good does come back to us in unexpected ways, but some of the very persons that we've helped will say that we've never done anything for them.  That's why I don't keep receipts of the deeds that I've done for anyone because I'm not expecting them to return any favor(s) to me. 

4. Don't despise others for their ingratitude.

You can't force someone to express gratitude if they don't want to. You don't possess the power to change people's hearts. It's solely up to them to show appreciation for the good that others have shown to them. Don't despise someone for not saying thank you, returning a kind gesture, or remembering all that you've done for them. That's just the way people are.

 Jesus healed ten lepers — only one returned to say thank you. From the beginning of time, people were like that.   Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy[a] met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, pity us!” When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed. 

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?”  Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.” Luke 17:11-19.  This is a perfect example of humility demonstrated by Jesus. 

 He knew that only one would return to say thank you, but He healed them all. That's why our intentions have to be pure when we are giving to others, when situations like these arise our spirit will remain undeterred. Giving has to be from a heart of love, not of compulsion. When others choose to forget the good that we have done for them. We don't have to fuss with them, only wish them well!

5. There's a sweet joy in giving.

It doesn't matter if people choose to forget all the good that you've done for them. They can never take the sweet sense of joy that the act of giving brings to your heart. When you give from the abundance of your heart. You give not for men's applause, or a good name, but from a heart of love. That's why you'll hear people saying that the happiest people are givers and not takers, and there's always more blessing to give than to receive. 

Do you know how good it feels to change someone's life for the better? It's not only with material things, but kind words, or just being available for someone when you're needed most. It's truly a great honor and a blessing.  Like the leper who returned to Jesus and expressed gratitude. There will always be someone who will be ever grateful for all that you have done for them, even after you depart this life.

''The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.'' Hada Bejar

Photo by from Pexels

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