How to stop trying to be liked by everyone.
“You can’t please everyone, and you can’t make everyone like you.” - Katie Couric
“If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.” - Margaret Thatcher
“When you’re different, sometimes you don’t see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn’t.” - Jodi Picoult
Imagine Sarah bought a hand-crafted gold necklace for her mother's birthday. As she anxiously presents her mother with the gift box. She whispers, ''I hope you like it.'' Today, many of us are like Sarah, anxiously hoping that others will like what we have to offer.
We live in a social media era where likes and views for some people are the staff of life. Some have gone to the extreme of buying fake likes just to grab the attention of others and feel better about themselves. For those of us who aren't too much into social media, we still struggle with the want or need to be liked by others.
We want our boss to like our work. We want our partners to like the surprise gifts that we've bought for them. We want our friends to like us etc. But what if they don't.......
Just imagine how Sarah would feel if her mother doesn't like the gold necklace that she bought for her birthday. Or better yet, how do you feel when someone doesn't like something you've invested a lot into?
While nothing is wrong with a sense of feeling appreciated. There's something wrong when our lives are fixated on the approval of others.
How do you overcome the fear of not being liked by everyone? Today, I'll share some tips that will help you.
“No matter how many people like you and your work, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like yourself.” - Cara Delevingne
1. Like yourself first.
It isn't other people's responsibility to like you. It is all yours. You owe that all to yourself. Can you imagine being with yourself all your life and not liking a single trait about yourself? If it's that hard for you who've known your ins and outs. How can it be easy for someone who knows nothing about you to like you?
Not everyone will like you or take the time to understand you. Some people lack the capacity. Don’t worry; it’s okay. Their acceptance or rejection doesn’t change your worth one bit. Hold your head up and live your life regardless, knowing not everyone is worthy of you.
– Richelle E. Goodrich
2. Allow others to have their honest feelings.
What looks amazing to you could be the complete opposite for someone else. We all have different tastes and opinions about different things. Someone not liking what you're doing doesn't mean that they don't like you as an individual. In the same way you don't approve of some things that other people do. They feel the same about you, don't take everything personally.
“Being unafraid of not being liked is the best way to be liked.” - Ines de La Fressange
3. Be in the real.
People's opinions about you can change in an instant. At this moment you're a crowd favorite. The next you're not. Don't get too carried away by the things that people say.
There are times when people don't want others to feel bad, and they just say something to make them feel good.
As humans, we do it all the time. We don't always like people's posts on social media. We may like them because our friends do, or because it's no hassle to hit the like button and give them a thumbs up. But deep within ourselves, we know that we're not feeling their posts. Life is just like that, don't go crazy over fake likes. Be more concerned about people who genuinely care for you, even if that number is just a few.
Remember, not everyone will like you (for various reasons), even if you did nothing wrong. If you expect everyone to like you and conform to their expectations, you wouldn’t be true to yourself, and your self-worth would suffer as a result.
– Camie L. Vincent
4. You're not everyone's favorite.
Some people like your attitude, and some don't. Some like you for being your true self, others won't. You'll never be good enough for everyone.
It's not your fault. Don't feel too bad about it. You probably have people on your list that you aren't too fond of just the same. It's what it is. You won't like everyone and everyone won't like you.
“Don’t worry about people liking you...We all try to please, and being a leader isn’t about that.” - Dyllan McGee
5. Stop expecting to be liked.
Your partner probably won't like your surprise, because it's not done to their taste. Your friends probably won't like the designer brands that you're wearing even though they're costly. Your date probably won't like your outfit even though you've spent hours getting ready. Someone's not gonna like something about you.
These are things that happen every day. We spend a lot of time and effort doing things hoping that others will like them. You can't get up each morning with the expectation that people will like you because you've done your best. You're only setting up yourself for disappointment. There are so many thoughts that occupy people's minds each day, sometimes you're not even one of them.
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
Let me know in the comments. What are your thoughts on wanting to be liked by everyone? Are you bothered by people not liking you?