How to stop taking crap from people.
“Respect yourself and others will respect you.”
“They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.”
Knowing your self-worth is one of the most important assignments you could ever take on in life. Why? It will set the tone for every interpersonal relationship that you will encounter in life. Employer-employee relationships, friendships, intimate relationships, etc. In life, you have to teach people how they should treat you.
If you should ever fail at doing so. You'll automatically subject yourself to their crap. They'll talk to you anyhow. They'll give you what they think you deserve. They'll treat you how they think you're worth. Some will treat you like nothing. Let people measure up to your standards. You shouldn't have to devalue yourself to prove to someone that you're worth it. Below I'll share a few high points on how you should stop accepting crap from other people and let them level up to your standards.
“If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.”
1. Let them know your position.
It's your responsibility to let people know their boundaries when it comes on to you. Let them know what is and what isn't okay. Your no means no! Stop feeling as though you have to give people a lecture as to why you have to say no. Be assertive in your speech. Stop creating leeway for people to force you to change your standpoint. Never be a receptacle for their meaningless apologies and excuses. It's a high price to pay. Believe me, you'll get tons of them.
Always hold people accountable for their apologies. If they're truly sorry about what happened they'll take the necessary steps to avoid doing so again. It's okay to give people second chances, but they need to know what your limits are, and how serious you are about them not crossing those limits. Let them know where you stand. The worst thing that you could ever do is to go against your standards. People will think that you aren't serious, and they'll continue to take you for a fool. Keep your standards high.
“An apology can be a wonderful thing so long as it is infrequent and from the heart. However, beware of the person who justifies bad behavior with apologies. For them, it is a means to an end, and quite often at your expense.”
2. Don't make excuses for other people's poor behavior.
When people show you their true colors, believe them. Stop trying to justify the situation or sum up reasons as to why they went off like that. Stop making up excuses to cover for them. They'll bite you in the long run. Accept the truth as plain as day. Allow people to take responsibility for their actions. Let them take the steps to adjust their poor behavior. You can't do that for them, but what you can do is let them know that you're not cool with them acting up like that. If you refuse to address the situation at hand, it will likely happen again, or it will become a pattern that escalates beyond your control.
“When a bully is held accountable for his actions, his future actions will change. Bad behavior only continues for those who allow it.”
3. Never tie your self-worth to gifts.
When people mess up, let them know exactly how you feel about it. Never allow anyone to woo you over with food, jewelry, clothes, etc., when they know that they've hurt you. Stop equating your value to gifts. Money has nothing to do with your self-worth. Never attach a price tag to your self-worth. People will seek out ways to buy you out.
You're worth more than that. No, it isn't okay to make someone believe that they can just buy you a gift in exchange for the wrong they have caused you. Don't put up with that crap. They will do this every time they mess up because they know a gift will woo your heart over, and you'll act as if nothing happened.
“If you don't set a baseline standard for what you'll accept in life, you'll find it's easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that's far below what you deserve.”
4. Don't feel bad for maintaining your standards.
People will say all kinds of things about you when they can't drag you down to their level or walk over you. They will say things like, you're acting as if you're better than everyone else or you're too stuck up. Let them say what they want to. Never reduce your standards so anyone can worm their way in. If they can't match up, let them be on their way. Always be true to who you are!
“Someone out there is looking for exactly what you've got…and will never try and undercut your value or question your worth. Some things in life just can’t be bartered over or placed on the sale rack – and your self-worth is at the top of the list.”
“I cannot conceive of a greater loss than the loss of one's self-respect.”