How do you deal with a toxic family member that you're living with?
How do you survive a toxic family?
We all have energy vampires that we wrestle with every day. They're on social media, at work, school, and home of all places. It's challenging to live and cope with family members who offer nothing but a toxic living environment. Pack your bags and leaving isn't always an option. So, how do you deal with a toxic family member that you have to live with? Having been around several toxic family members, I'll share a few tips with you.
1. Don't try to fix them.
The more you know about people the easier it is for you not to judge them wrongfully. Your family member being mean to you could be a result of their shortcomings. Disappointment, hurt, childhood trauma, unforgiveness, etc. Some people find it easier to project their insecurities onto others to avoid dealing with them.
That family member who's emitting toxic energy into your life; what kind of childhood did they have? Was it a good one? Did they have a healthy relationship with their parents? Did they have a difficult time making friends? Did they experience any major loss in their life?
While there is no justifiable reason to mistreat another person. Hurt people, hurt people! What you're getting from your family member could be a projection of the hurt that they have been carrying for years. They are using their limitations to make your life a living hell. It has nothing to do with you. You're just a scapegoat. It's all about them. They need to fix themselves. You can't do that for them.
“What the toxic family unit has lost sight of is the positive traits of the innocent person who was manipulated into being the scapegoat. The scapegoat can feel the acute injustice that leaves a psychological scar. Although nobody would willingly choose to be a scapegoat, this person has countless wonderful strengths, characteristics, and accomplishments.”
2. Share your visions and dreams with people who believe in you.
People will only see what they want to see in you. If they believe that you possess the ability to only do A. There's no point convincing them that you can go from A to Z. A toxic family member will kill your creative spirit. Don't expect them to support your visions and dreams. Surround yourself with people who will elevate your spirit. You can also read uplifting books, pray to God, or listen to motivational stories of people who overcame hardships in their lives. You can find hundreds of inspirational stories on Youtube and Facebook watch.
“There is healing in telling. There is healing in exposing abuse. There is healing in being truthful. There is healing in knowing you are not to blame. There is healing in standing up for yourself. There is healing in setting boundaries. There is healing in self-love. Hold onto hope that you will recover.”
3. Limit the attention that you give to them
You can't change people's attitudes toward you, but you can control how you respond to them. They need your attention. They want you to listen. They want you to focus on them. They want you to believe that what they're saying about you is true. Toxic people want you to communicate with them. They want you to hear them out. Whether it's through an argument, a family dinner, or a decision.
Choose your conversations wisely. If you don't need to have a conversation with them, don't. If having a conversation with them creates an argument, walk away. You may not be able to completely cut off a toxic family member, but you can limit the attention that you give to them. Spend more time focusing on yourself and your unique abilities. They can only take your attention if you give it to them. Don't give it to them!
“Ending the toxic cycle within your own life isn't easy. When you don't come from a healthy family, you do your best to ensure a healthy one comes from you.”
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