Signs you're giving too much for nothing.

 

Signs you're giving too much for nothing.



"I give so much and get nothing in return."


“Selflessness. It should be the basis of every relationship. If a person truly cares about you, they'll get more pleasure from the way they make you feel, rather than the way you make them feel.”
― Colleen Hoover


"Can a car travel a mile on empty?" How then do you expect to go the extra mile for  others without filling your needs first? " Annette Kinglock-Murray 


Do you feel like you're over-giving?


There isn't anything wrong with giving and sharing with others. It's good when we're able to bless the lives of others through our various acts of giving. The flip side of this is we sometimes run ourselves dry for the sake of others. 


Today,  I want to share with you some signs that you're giving too much for nothing in return and this is not to say you should always give with expectations.


I'm ONLY making the point that in your giving you should always fill yourself first so you don't run dry. You can't pour from an empty cup!


1. You're always initiating.

There isn't anything wrong with taking the lead to get something done, but it shouldn't be that you're always the one doing all the leg work.


 Eventually, you'll get burned out. If this is something that you see happening at work or in your relationship. You should look into it and address it immediately. You shouldn't be the only one giving a 100% when others are just as competent as you are.


“Give, but know how and what to give! Plant your seeds; nurture them well for the best fruits; from the fruits, you can feed thousands, and you can also get seeds from the fruits for further sowing. If, however, you keep giving your seeds in the name of benevolence, there shall come a time when you shall neither have a fruit to feed just a person nor a seed for replanting and harvesting!”
― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah


2. Others have started to take notice.

It could be a close friend or a family member who's brutally honest and has your best interest at heart. They have started to make mention that you are contributing too much for nothing. 

People who truly care will tell you the truth even if it makes you uncomfortable. If they're pointing out these things to you chances are they believe that you're being treated unfairly and you need to take a stand.


3. It's beginning to affect your mental and physical health.

There are noticeable signs in your physical appearance. You look stressed out. Maybe a little thin and you're always complaining about feeling tired.


“Once you get used to people giving to you as much as you give to them and receive all of the benefits of a less stressful life, you will not consider putting yourself last. ~Amanda Owen”


4. You're starting to make silly excuses.

 You find yourself articulating all kinds of excuses as to why you must do what you do. When in fact your efforts are underrated and whatever it is that you're doing can get done with or without you.


“Listen to the words you say. The very words you say to them are the very words you need to hear. Humans tend to give each other what they need. So tell them these important things and then turn around and tell them to your very own heart.”
― Kate McGahan


5. You don't show the same interest in yourself.

You tend to give yourself the worst and you don't seem to have an issue with it because you're so accustomed to being on the back burner and admitting to everyone else's needs except yours.


“Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch.”
― 
Parker Palmer,


“If you want to help her, you need to help yourself first. No one serves their friends by grinding themselves into dust on the altar of compassion.”
― Seanan McGuire,


6. You're easily irritated 

Probably someone on numerous occasions pointed out that you need to stop the enabling and take a step back. Deep down you know that they're telling you the truth but your ego is telling you that they should mind their own business. 


7. You feel stressed.

You are feeling drained and mentally exhausted because you're doing an unusual number of things on tight deadlines. You're not taking much-needed breaks. You're not getting proper rest at night and you're not delegating simple tasks that can be done by someone else.


“Just when you feel you have no time to relax, know that this is the moment you most need to make time to relax.”
― Matt Haig


“As important as it is to have a plan for doing work, it is perhaps more important to have a plan for rest, relaxation, self-care, and sleep.”
― Akiroq Brost


8. You feel disrespected.

You don't get what you truly deserve. Whether it's cash or kind. It could be that you're soft-spoken and you've allowed others to treat you the way they feel.


“I need to stop treating other people better than I treat myself. It's killing me.”
― Jen Wilde


9. You feel compelled to do what you do.

This could be a result of the manipulation that you receive from others. You find it extremely difficult to say no and even if you have a valid reason why you're not able to help out it weighs heavily on your conscience.


“Taking care of myself doesn't mean 'me first.' It means 'me, too.”
― L.R. Knost


10. You're afraid to let others down.

 Most likely, gaslighting. You're so afraid of letting others down. You would go to great lengths to get them exactly what they need no matter the cost to you.

 It could be that you have to get a loan,  use your savings, or your entire paycheck. You'll do whatever it takes because you feel much better taking the loss than facing their wrath. 


“If you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others, hurting feelings, and living with the reality that some people just won’t like you. It may not be easy, but it’s essential if you want your life to reflect your deepest desires, values, and needs.”
― Cheryl Richardson


Take away:  There isn't anything wrong with giving to others but when you feel that you give so much for nothing in return.  You're doing everything for nothing in return. You give love but get nothing back. 

You're being nice and get nothing back or you're always helping others and nobody helps you, it means that you're giving too much and if you don't replenish yourself you'll eventually run dry with nothing else to give. Neither to yourself or others.


Thank you very much for stopping by. Can you relate to any of these signs? Share your thoughts in the comments.

See: 

How do I know if I'm being used

Comments

  1. Nice list! I find this is very common with myself and I've actually been trying to be more selfish in a way. Too many people take advantage nowadays.

    ReplyDelete

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