Is it bad to care about others more than yourself?


Why don't people care about me even though I care about them?

 “Every one of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves.”— Princess Diana

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”— Maya Angelou

“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” –Unknown

Should you put yourself or others first?

Many of us have been caring more about others for the longest while. It brings me much sadness the more I reflect on it. Having watched so many people being treated like crap by the very persons they have devoted their life to serving. 

Quite often, we invest our time and energy into people who don't possess the ability to reciprocate what we have given them. Whatever their reasons are, justifiable or not. That's just the way life is. Not everyone is appreciative of good things, and you can't expect the right things from the wrong people.

 Sometimes it seems as though, no one cares that you're hurting. That you have feelings too. That you're a human like everyone else, or that you even exist.  People may not feel obliged to care about you, but you owe it to yourself to care about yourself.

“Do something nice for yourself today. Find some quiet, sit in stillness, breathe. Put your problems on pause. You deserve a break.”―Akiroq Brost

What do you do first when you're up in the mornings? How much of that time is spent doing things for yourself? Maybe, you haven't even thought about this question until now. If you're a mother you're up a few hours early to get breakfast ready for the family. The next thing on your list is to get the children up. Help them get dressed, make their beds, and get them ready for school. By the time you're through with getting everyone else ready and cleaning up their mess. You barely have a few minutes to settle down, eat your breakfast, and get dressed for work.

 The day has just started and you're already tired. The cycle continues in the evenings. You rush to get home, make dinner, help the children with their homework, and get them ready for bed. By the time you're through, you're half asleep on the couch. So, you started the day tired and you're ending it super tired, and you'll continue like this for years. While nothing is wrong with caring for others and fulfilling their needs. We should never forget that it is also our duty to attend to our individual needs.

“Our lives are so busy, and for many of us, the demands are overwhelming. Some of us focus so much on the needs of others, we lose sight of ourselves. Stop, for one moment. Take a deep breath. Be still. Refocus. Concentrate on improving your life. One situation at a time. You can’t be much good to others if you’re no good to yourself. If they love you, they’ll understand.”— Carlos Wallace

Is it selfish to put yourself first?

Your needs are just as important as your spouse's, children's, parents', friends', colleagues', etc. The best person to care for you is you. No one else will ever come close to doing that job as good as you. It is your responsibility to take the very best care of yourself. 

Your self-care isn't an option, it's a priority. You should never assign that role to anyone else. Unless it's a situation where you're not able to care for yourself, due to an illness or a disability.

 Too often, we prioritize the needs of others and silence the pitiful pleas that our bodies are screaming at us. It's time to take a break. It's time to sleep.  It's time to sit in solitude and relax. It's time to escape the noise for a while. It's is time to spend some quality time alone. We make every effort to ensure that everyone else is taken care of and neglect ourselves. 

Is it bad to care about others more than yourself? Yes. Your needs are as important as everyone else's. If you keep depriving your body and mind of the care that they need. One day you'll either have a mental or physical breakdown, or both. 

“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary.”– Mandy Hale

“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others. ” – Christopher Germer

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” – Jack Kornfield

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Here are my top five self-care tips.

  •  Value your emotions. All of them are important.
  • Stop investing your time and energy into people who disregard your sacrifices. Spend more time with people who appreciate having you around.
  • Listen to your body. Spend quality time with yourself. Take a social media detox. Rest. Read a good book. Eat healthily and exercise. Pray and meditate.
  • Spend more time with people who value and respect you.
  • Live in the present. Let go of things that you can't control. Pursue peace.


  1. its just hard. Ive always been the person running after them and I think I've done my time.

    1. Thanks for your comment. Take it one day at a time. All the best.


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