Stop worrying about people who trifle with your feelings.
In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain the old pain. Unknown
“Never make another person's emotional or physical needs more important than your own.”
I remember how sick I became from my anxiety. This wasn't something that I remember experiencing in the early years of my life. So, why was I having these feelings now? Nausea, diarrhea, shortness of breath, the fear of a heart attack, and the possibility that I will not make it through the next day. Where were all these coming from?
I knew exactly where they were coming from. I knew what was creating the triggers, but I honestly wasn't prepared to handle it just yet. I stood between a rock and a hard place; thinking whether I should move, or just stay there and get crushed. I knew I had to do something because my life depended on it, but I wasn't ready.
I realized that the primary reason for my anxiety was my own fear of things that weren't my doing. I wanted to be the shield for the consequences of my loved ones' irresponsibility, and it was slowly destroying my mental health. I found myself absorbing stress from situations that they had knowingly placed themselves in. I made it my responsibility to worry about the consequences of their actions.
I was too concerned about things that weren't a bother to them. I was too busy worrying about what the results of their actions would be when they didn't give a care in the world. I appointed myself to a position that they had not given to me. They didn't want me worrying about them, yet I constantly did.
“There is no point of hurting ourselves with stress for others actions, best relief is to learn to let go if it cannot be changed even after trying.”
That was the wake-up call for me. I knew I had to stop doing this to myself. I knew I had to find a way to prevent the triggers from going off, and the only way was to start caring more about my feelings. For a while, I've been carrying a burden that wasn't mine. It was time to lay it down and walk away.
If you find yourself worrying over someone who doesn't respect your feelings; then one day you'll come to the realization that it isn't doing you any good. The arguing back and forth, unnecessary stress, puffy eyes from crying are just not worth it. I've come to that realization. You can't love anyone more than yourself. You can't make people care about your feelings if they don't want to.
I had a deep conversation with myself and I asked the question. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? The moment of truth finally came. It was all in my hands. I didn't have to worry so much. I didn't have to toss and turn in my sleep. I didn't have to entertain these feelings of anxiety. I didn't have to watch my emotional health deplete any further; if I stopped worrying about people who don't care about my feelings.
Sometimes the same person who you've put your best foot out for; walks all over it. The same person you've given your all; takes it for granted. Yet, you'd still continue to make these sacrifices and call it love. This isn't love; it's self-destruction. Why do you keep doing this to yourself?
It isn't easy to tell ourselves that the person(s) who we love so much, doesn't care about us. It's not easy to admit the fact; even with the obvious signs. It isn't easy to walk away when you've invested so much. The memories don't just die. They linger on. You see them at night. You feel them in the silent tears that roll off your cheeks. There are little reminders in every day that goes by.
But there comes a time when we have to realize that what we're fighting for isn't fighting back for us. So, it's time to let it go. We must learn to break free from people who continue to trifle with our feelings. Too often we try to invent ways to show them how much we care about them. Even with all our failed efforts, we still continue to try. As hard as it is, there comes a time when we have to stop caring so much about people who don't care about us.
One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul. Brigitte Nicole